[ jeanne's first instinct is to fight him off and pin him down. instead, she doesn't. all this practice with her self-control today, with not throwing him down on the bed and climbing on top of him has prepared her to stay still and, if anything, somewhat enjoy being on the other side.
she always thought she needed to be in charge. to do everything. to take care of vanitas. to stay alert. ]
I want to say it, but I... I can't. Lady Dominique told me you hated it. And, that one time, on our date... your face...
[Ironic then that he would be perfectly happy having her pin him down and have her way with him, honestly. But then, he's content just being together with her, with sharing kisses and body warmth by nuzzling up against one another. It's... nice, really.
But he also likes being able to do things for her, even if it's just guide her through the motions for their makeout sessions. It makes him feel in control and not like some helpless child.
At her words, though, he rests a hand upon her cheeks, lifting her face to meet his so they can kiss softly.]
...I know. It frightened me. I'll admit that much. But... I wouldn't hate you for saying it. Never. I just... might not be able to believe it.
[ any time with vanitas is happy time in her mind, too. being able to show him affection, how much she loves him in the only way she knows how. physically. sometimes, with stuttered and expressed feelings. by protecting him and never thinking badly of him.
this is much softer between them. this is like their moment in the cabin where they shared body heat.
every kiss chases away her uncertainties, bit by bit. so that those three words sit, waiting (im)patiently to be used. ]
But I would mean it! I really would, this time!! Unlike our date...!
[ grabbing his hands on her face and leaning in close to EMPHASIZE HER POINT. ]
[It's too much oftentimes, more than a wretched being like him deserves. That's the main thing that goes through his mind when they're together: that someone like him doesn't deserve a wonderful woman like Jeanne. Not her kindness, nor her compassion, and certainly not her love.
Even if he eats up every kiss and bite and the warmth of her body pressed against his.
He trembles at little at her admitting as much, that she would mean those three little magic, frightening words. His grip on her tightens, and he leans in to rest their foreheads together.]
...did you enjoy it?
[He asks softly, carefully. Curiosity burning within him.]
[ but see? jeanne believes she's the irredeemable one! not him. he's saving vampires! she... murdered them. by the thousands. chloé was able to be saved because of him. she would have killed her if vanitas wasn't there. because, in her mind, there was no other option.
but jeanne is selfish. she doesn't think she doesn't deserve him, she's simply happy to be able to stay in his orbit. that he's not running away from her when he probably should be. with how much she wants his blood.
at first, she only blinks at him as her face colors with a blush. ]
Yes. I did. D-despite my goals, I did. Very much. You took me to so many places I've never seen. Bought me whatever food I wanted... and I saw a side of you I wasn't mentally prepared for.
Then you... what you said to me in the atelier. About killing me. I think it started there. It was so, so incredibly compassionate. Like you understood how I felt completely.
[They're both a couple of dumb dummies, honestly. She did what she had to do to keep herself safe, after all. She had no choice in the matter. He did. Yes, he chose to help them for his revenge, but still. He's killed before, even if it was out of mercy. They're not so different, in his eyes at least. More importantly... they work well together. Able to help even more vampires.
He watches her color, feeling his own face warm slightly. He's selfish, too. He wants to keep her for himself. Doesn't want to share her with Luca or anyone else. Wants her to be his and his alone. Especially when she speaks and her words reach him, making him flush that much deeper.]
T-That was all to trick you, you know... [It's muttered off to one side, but the rest of what she says strikes a chord within him, and he brushes their noses together.] I do... I do understand. More than you realize, I think. We're not so different, you and I...
[ to trick her? to do what? to drink his blood? she doesn't get it. she would've done that anyway.
and does it matter? she's happy and she hopes that vanitas is, too. she's so happy to be in love. to have these beautiful, warm feelings for another person. that simply rubbing their noses together puts her on cloud nine. back into babel.
a small, gentle smile tugs at her lips and she exhales a slow breath but it slowly fades as his words sink in. vanitas would want to die too if he ever became less of himself. ]
Is it... what you hide beneath your glove? You didn't want me to take it off.
[Trying to fool her into hating him, actually, but yeah. Backfired spectacularly, didn't it?
But... in the end it worked out. They grew closer, and he started falling for her for real, too. Now they're both hopeless idiots in love. He doesn't know how to handle it, honestly - he's doing a pretty miserable job in his own eyes - but... he doesn't hate it anymore. It's... nice, actually, feeling loved and loving someone in return.
At her question, he looks away, suddenly becoming distant. He can't help clutching at his arm, flinching a bit as it seems to throb almost. But finally he nods slightly.]
...it'll take over me one day. I won't be myself anymore. I want someone to kill me before that happens.
[ backfired into a explosion in the other direction.
and now? that's what he meant by understanding more than she realized. while he's looking away, clutching at his arm, spiralling into what his grim future holds, she wraps her arms tight around him. holding him like he did with her while she cried fearful and miserable tears on his chest.
she would offer to kill him but, unlike him, she's not sure if she could do it. she couldn't do it with chloé. instead, she makes a promise to herself.
for as long as he's alive, she'll love him with her whole being. she'll make sure that he'll never feel alone.
a darker thought passes through her mind, too. she hopes he kills her before she has to watch vanitas die. ]
He jolts at the feel of her arms around him, almost wanting to fight her off, but then the warmth of her her embrace comes through, and he realizes just how good it feels to be held in such a way again. Like he hasn't since he killed Luna. It leaves him trembling both from nerves and enjoyment.
He doesn't expect her to fulfill that request for him, doesn't want to place that burden on her. Not when she's already had to carry the weight of so many lives with her.
He would just be happy to see her smiling face before he dies, honestly. That would help bring him some measure of peace.]
[ jeanne mutters his name into his shoulder and closes her eyes. it would be hard but, yes, she could entrust that heavy burden with him. just as she confided vanitas' safety while she saved lady dominique.
what worries her is if noé has killed anybody at all. he would be weighted with the guilt of killing someone he treausured. like she did for chloé for so long.
if she's unfortunate enough (and she just might be) to be around when vanitas dies, then... she holds him to her closer, burying how close she is to tears into his neck. ]
[It's a concern they both have, not only for Noé, but for Vanitas himself. If Noé can't manage it, then it might fall to Jeanne, and she may be unable to bring herself to do the job of ending his life. What then? Will he become a mindless monster? Or a malnomen himself like Queen Faustina?
It's a fate he doesn't want to think about, becoming something that would hurt others to such a degree. He has to believe that between his two dear friends, they could get the job done.
He sighs in relief at her words, hugging her back and nuzzling against the crook of her neck.]
...thank you.
honestly should've saved this convo for game but HHH THEy
[ if it ends up being her, she will just have to tell herself (over and over and over and over) it's what vanitas wants. even if it's not what she wants. unlike with chloé, she won't hesitate. she won't make the same mistakes. she won't let vanitas become the monster.
just as he wouldn't allow it of her.
it's his gratitude that makes the tears spill over and her bottom lip to quiver. for her to hold him to near painful levels, sorry. squeeeeeeeze.
she lets go soon enough, reaching up to wipe at her face. what depressing talk when they were on the course to have sex. ]
... Huh? Where is Noé? [ ... ] I-I-I didn't even check to make sure he wasn't in the room before I - I - ! AUGH.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I MISS THE MATH
she always thought she needed to be in charge. to do everything. to take care of vanitas. to stay alert. ]
I want to say it, but I... I can't. Lady Dominique told me you hated it. And, that one time, on our date... your face...
NO MATH 4 U
But he also likes being able to do things for her, even if it's just guide her through the motions for their makeout sessions. It makes him feel in control and not like some helpless child.
At her words, though, he rests a hand upon her cheeks, lifting her face to meet his so they can kiss softly.]
...I know. It frightened me. I'll admit that much. But... I wouldn't hate you for saying it. Never. I just... might not be able to believe it.
BWEASE
this is much softer between them. this is like their moment in the cabin where they shared body heat.
every kiss chases away her uncertainties, bit by bit. so that those three words sit, waiting (im)patiently to be used. ]
But I would mean it! I really would, this time!! Unlike our date...!
[ grabbing his hands on her face and leaning in close to EMPHASIZE HER POINT. ]
But, even then... that date was...
WATCH THEM GIVE ME THE MATH ONES SOB
Even if he eats up every kiss and bite and the warmth of her body pressed against his.
He trembles at little at her admitting as much, that she would mean those three little magic, frightening words. His grip on her tightens, and he leans in to rest their foreheads together.]
...did you enjoy it?
[He asks softly, carefully. Curiosity burning within him.]
NOOOOOOOOOOO MEEeee
but jeanne is selfish. she doesn't think she doesn't deserve him, she's simply happy to be able to stay in his orbit. that he's not running away from her when he probably should be. with how much she wants his blood.
at first, she only blinks at him as her face colors with a blush. ]
Yes. I did. D-despite my goals, I did. Very much. You took me to so many places I've never seen. Bought me whatever food I wanted... and I saw a side of you I wasn't mentally prepared for.
Then you... what you said to me in the atelier. About killing me. I think it started there. It was so, so incredibly compassionate. Like you understood how I felt completely.
YOU CAN HAVE THEM I DON'T WANT EM
He watches her color, feeling his own face warm slightly. He's selfish, too. He wants to keep her for himself. Doesn't want to share her with Luca or anyone else. Wants her to be his and his alone. Especially when she speaks and her words reach him, making him flush that much deeper.]
T-That was all to trick you, you know... [It's muttered off to one side, but the rest of what she says strikes a chord within him, and he brushes their noses together.] I do... I do understand. More than you realize, I think. We're not so different, you and I...
WE CAN TRADE U GET BASKETBALL
[ to trick her? to do what? to drink his blood? she doesn't get it. she would've done that anyway.
and does it matter? she's happy and she hopes that vanitas is, too. she's so happy to be in love. to have these beautiful, warm feelings for another person. that simply rubbing their noses together puts her on cloud nine. back into babel.
a small, gentle smile tugs at her lips and she exhales a slow breath but it slowly fades as his words sink in. vanitas would want to die too if he ever became less of himself. ]
Is it... what you hide beneath your glove? You didn't want me to take it off.
YAAAAY SPORTS :V
But... in the end it worked out. They grew closer, and he started falling for her for real, too. Now they're both hopeless idiots in love. He doesn't know how to handle it, honestly - he's doing a pretty miserable job in his own eyes - but... he doesn't hate it anymore. It's... nice, actually, feeling loved and loving someone in return.
At her question, he looks away, suddenly becoming distant. He can't help clutching at his arm, flinching a bit as it seems to throb almost. But finally he nods slightly.]
...it'll take over me one day. I won't be myself anymore. I want someone to kill me before that happens.
SPORTSBAWL
and now? that's what he meant by understanding more than she realized. while he's looking away, clutching at his arm, spiralling into what his grim future holds, she wraps her arms tight around him. holding him like he did with her while she cried fearful and miserable tears on his chest.
she would offer to kill him but, unlike him, she's not sure if she could do it. she couldn't do it with chloé. instead, she makes a promise to herself.
for as long as he's alive, she'll love him with her whole being. she'll make sure that he'll never feel alone.
a darker thought passes through her mind, too. she hopes he kills her before she has to watch vanitas die. ]
Who do you think will do it...?
BETTER THAN A SPORTBRA??
He jolts at the feel of her arms around him, almost wanting to fight her off, but then the warmth of her her embrace comes through, and he realizes just how good it feels to be held in such a way again. Like he hasn't since he killed Luna. It leaves him trembling both from nerves and enjoyment.
He doesn't expect her to fulfill that request for him, doesn't want to place that burden on her. Not when she's already had to carry the weight of so many lives with her.
He would just be happy to see her smiling face before he dies, honestly. That would help bring him some measure of peace.]
...probably Noé, if I'm lucky.
NO THOSE ARE USEFUL
[ jeanne mutters his name into his shoulder and closes her eyes. it would be hard but, yes, she could entrust that heavy burden with him. just as she confided vanitas' safety while she saved lady dominique.
what worries her is if noé has killed anybody at all. he would be weighted with the guilt of killing someone he treausured. like she did for chloé for so long.
if she's unfortunate enough (and she just might be) to be around when vanitas dies, then... she holds him to her closer, burying how close she is to tears into his neck. ]
I'll make sure it's him, Vanitas.
TRU DAT
[It's a concern they both have, not only for Noé, but for Vanitas himself. If Noé can't manage it, then it might fall to Jeanne, and she may be unable to bring herself to do the job of ending his life. What then? Will he become a mindless monster? Or a malnomen himself like Queen Faustina?
It's a fate he doesn't want to think about, becoming something that would hurt others to such a degree. He has to believe that between his two dear friends, they could get the job done.
He sighs in relief at her words, hugging her back and nuzzling against the crook of her neck.]
...thank you.
honestly should've saved this convo for game but HHH THEy
just as he wouldn't allow it of her.
it's his gratitude that makes the tears spill over and her bottom lip to quiver. for her to hold him to near painful levels, sorry. squeeeeeeeze.
she lets go soon enough, reaching up to wipe at her face. what depressing talk when they were on the course to have sex. ]
... Huh? Where is Noé? [ ... ] I-I-I didn't even check to make sure he wasn't in the room before I - I - ! AUGH.