[Realizing his mistake, Vanitas sighs and pets at Noé's hair, trying to soothe him in the only way he knows how. His arms tighten protectively around his lover, trying to shield him from all the horrid memories and physical sensations he must have endured. Having been there, he knows how the phantom pains can last. It's not a pleasant experience, naturally.]
...truthfully, I don't know either. Perhaps it was simple spite and the desire for revenge that kept me living. Maybe it was a curse. I'm not sure. All I know is I'm starting to regret it. [He pauses, breathing through his nose a moment.] If it weren't for me, then you never--
[He grits his teeth, hugging Noé tight against himself as curse after curse falls from his lips.]
[ Noé shakes his head and hugs Vanitas tighter in response. ]
No, no! Don't regret it, please don't say that. [ He clings to Vanitas' shirt, because he never wants Vanitas to regret being alive, let alone because of his mistakes. ] Vanitas...my life is so much better having known you. I didn't have many friends before I met you. All I had was Domi...
[ Which he has no issues with, but Vanitas opened him up to so many things, both good and bad. And yet – ]
You want us to face everything together, right? That includes things like this, too. Please don't blame yourself.
[That hug helps soothe Vanitas' anger, although he still trembles with rage.]
Noé... I'm sorry. [He breathes out the apology, closing his eyes to try and focus on calming down so that he won't continue berating himself and hating his own existence. Although what the apology is for is up for debate. Possibly multiple things.] I'm sure you would've made more eventually... Without me...
[He can't help the regret, knowing Moreau only targeted Noé because of him. Because he knew they were connected. Suddenly, he grasps Noé's hand in his own, thumb playing over the other's ring.]
You're right, of course... Even still, it's difficult to not consider this my fault.
I don't care for hypotheticals. [ He pulls back so he can look at Vanitas head-on. A hand comes up to gently cup the doctor's cheek. ] It wouldn't change the fact that meeting you has made my life so much better.
[ He squeezes Vanitas' hand, trying to help the other relax and soothe some of his pain. ]
So...please believe me when I say I don't blame you for anything. It was my foolishness that got me into this mess, not yours.
No, I suppose not. They do no good, anyway. [He lets out an unsteady breath at the contact, leaning into it for warmth and comfort.] And you mine. Even if I seem ungrateful most of the time.
[Because he knows how he comes off usually. Cold and condescending. Feeling Noé trying to reassure him, he shakes his head.]
Why are you comforting me? You're the one who went through hell. How selfish of me. If anything, I should be reassuring you...
Just because I went through hell doesn't mean I can't worry about you, too.
[ He brushes his thumb over Vanitas' cheek repeatedly, hoping to help him relax a little more. He's not a fan of the self-deprecating spirals that Vanitas gets into, but that makes him all the more motivated to want to help his lover through them. ]
And like I've said...I'd like for us to face this together. That includes being here for you when you need it, too.
[It's such a simple gesture yet one that does indeed help calm him, leaving him breathing somewhat more steadily as he nestles up again Noé. Now if only he could stop hating himself for a while...]
...very well. I, too, wish for us to work together to overcome it. But I'm fine, honestly. It's you I'm worried about... What he did to you... I know it's painful. That it's frightening.
[ Said with sincerity, because he'd rather not get into that argument with Vanitas right now. They can worry about each other, and he'll call it even there. ]
...And it is. I thought I was going to lose my arm again, to put it bluntly. [ And more. Probably more. But Moreau wouldn't have killed him because of all of the potential for more research that Noé could have provided him. ] I'll spare you the details if you wish...but if you want to hear them, I can tell you.
[For his part, he holds Noé tighter, expressing his agreement that way. This is no time for petty bickering or arguments between them.]
That would not have surprised me. He can find uses for all manner of body parts. Frankly it's a wonder he only took skin and blood samples from me. [Although it clearly enrages him despite Vanitas' calm voice. It's a little too even, too calculated to be normal.] ...tell me. So that might know best how to pay him back.
He meant it when he said he was going to take samples. He burned parts of my skin...and cut some parts, too, that regenerated quickly due to a tube he had in my arm that accelerated regeneration. Many of these bruises were from his subordinates trying to subdue me. There were a lot of shocks involved...and cutting me in various places for blood samples.
[ It's a lot. It's a lot to do to someone in one day. Moreau...got pretty excited. ]
Yes... That sounds like him. He likes to get all the data he can first before beginning. Hair, blood, saliva, skin, the works. That he has some way of accelerating your healing though... That must be new. Though it seems like I'll have to find a source of electricity for when we decide to visit him again.
[He breathes out heavily through his nose, hand shaking with rage.]
Don't worry, Noé. Whatever he visited upon you, I'll deliver back to him tenfold. That's my promise to you.
[ He doesn't like the idea of killing someone, but Moreau needs to be stopped. The man has no remorse, no sense of empathy for anyone, and the more he's allowed to continue this the worse things will get. So he doesn't bother trying to stop this. If anything, he kind of supports it...
But he leans in to kiss Vanitas. It's a little abrupt, but he pulls away and touches their foreheads together. ]
I'm glad we're both alive...and thank you for comforting me as I slept.
[That Noé is so opposed to taking lives yet is willing to forego that in order to stop Moreau is a sign of just how bad the man is. When not even his kind and softhearted partner sees hope for someone, that just goes to show what a reprehensible individual they are.
The kiss takes Vanitas by surprise, but he accepts it gladly, and pets Noé's hair as their foreheads touch.]
You're welcome. I am, too. It means we get to be here, together.
[ Noé leans into Vanitas' touch easily. He presses his lips to his partner's one more time, moving in more slowly this time to give Vanitas a bit of a heads up. When he kisses his partner, he softly cradles his face in his hands. ]
Together... I'm starting to really like that word.
[This time he doesn't startle, instead welcoming the gesture with half-closed eyes as he regards Noé with love in his expression. Being held like that, so tenderly and with care, makes him sigh softly, contentment washing over him. Even now, he's feeling a slight warmth that radiates from his core, filling him with a sense of peace.]
As am I. It's... nice, to not always be alone, I'm finding.
You'll never be alone again, Vanitas. I promise you that.
[ He really likes that expression on his partner's face. It's so peaceful, content, and it makes Noé's heart flutter a little in his chest. Ah, he's so glad he can make Vanitas feel so content. ]
I'm never setting you free, remember? And I'm sticking to that.
[Forcing his way against Noé, he cuddles up to his front, trying to be mindful of his injuries while being close all the while. A bit like an affectionate cat demanding attention.]
I remember. I remember I hated you for cursing me with that. Now it feels like a blessing...
[That elicits a pleased sigh from him as he settles against Noé, head coming to rest against his shoulder.]
For being unable to kill you. For worming your way into my heart. [Trying to clarify, he continues.] It's a frightening thing, to open one's heart after it's been broken, you know...
[ Noé isn't the sort to close himself off after tragedy strikes, but he knows full well that Vanitas is. He puts a hand over Vanitas' head and pets it lightly, signifying to the doctor that he understands and doesn't hold it against him. ]
Do you feel any differently about opening up to me, now?
Indeed. I hated it with a passion, and in turn I hated you. Or I thought I did.
[The petting makes him blink, surprised, before he smirks a little and settles in to enjoy the affection. He truly is grateful for Noé's patience and kindness.]
I do. I think... I'm alright with it now. Or am gradually getting there.
I'm happy that your feelings changed, then. Obviously.
[ He'd be awfully sad if he and Vanitas went back to hating one another!! He's a lot more content with their current relationship and wouldn't trade it for the world. ]
Good. I'm always here for you. [ But he understands, now, that this will take time. ] And I'll make good on my word to not leave you behind anymore, too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
...truthfully, I don't know either. Perhaps it was simple spite and the desire for revenge that kept me living. Maybe it was a curse. I'm not sure. All I know is I'm starting to regret it. [He pauses, breathing through his nose a moment.] If it weren't for me, then you never--
[He grits his teeth, hugging Noé tight against himself as curse after curse falls from his lips.]
no subject
[ Noé shakes his head and hugs Vanitas tighter in response. ]
No, no! Don't regret it, please don't say that. [ He clings to Vanitas' shirt, because he never wants Vanitas to regret being alive, let alone because of his mistakes. ] Vanitas...my life is so much better having known you. I didn't have many friends before I met you. All I had was Domi...
[ Which he has no issues with, but Vanitas opened him up to so many things, both good and bad. And yet – ]
You want us to face everything together, right? That includes things like this, too. Please don't blame yourself.
no subject
Noé... I'm sorry. [He breathes out the apology, closing his eyes to try and focus on calming down so that he won't continue berating himself and hating his own existence. Although what the apology is for is up for debate. Possibly multiple things.] I'm sure you would've made more eventually... Without me...
[He can't help the regret, knowing Moreau only targeted Noé because of him. Because he knew they were connected. Suddenly, he grasps Noé's hand in his own, thumb playing over the other's ring.]
You're right, of course... Even still, it's difficult to not consider this my fault.
no subject
[ He squeezes Vanitas' hand, trying to help the other relax and soothe some of his pain. ]
So...please believe me when I say I don't blame you for anything. It was my foolishness that got me into this mess, not yours.
no subject
[Because he knows how he comes off usually. Cold and condescending. Feeling Noé trying to reassure him, he shakes his head.]
Why are you comforting me? You're the one who went through hell. How selfish of me. If anything, I should be reassuring you...
no subject
[ He brushes his thumb over Vanitas' cheek repeatedly, hoping to help him relax a little more. He's not a fan of the self-deprecating spirals that Vanitas gets into, but that makes him all the more motivated to want to help his lover through them. ]
And like I've said...I'd like for us to face this together. That includes being here for you when you need it, too.
no subject
[It's such a simple gesture yet one that does indeed help calm him, leaving him breathing somewhat more steadily as he nestles up again Noé. Now if only he could stop hating himself for a while...]
...very well. I, too, wish for us to work together to overcome it. But I'm fine, honestly. It's you I'm worried about... What he did to you... I know it's painful. That it's frightening.
no subject
[ Said with sincerity, because he'd rather not get into that argument with Vanitas right now. They can worry about each other, and he'll call it even there. ]
...And it is. I thought I was going to lose my arm again, to put it bluntly. [ And more. Probably more. But Moreau wouldn't have killed him because of all of the potential for more research that Noé could have provided him. ] I'll spare you the details if you wish...but if you want to hear them, I can tell you.
no subject
That would not have surprised me. He can find uses for all manner of body parts. Frankly it's a wonder he only took skin and blood samples from me. [Although it clearly enrages him despite Vanitas' calm voice. It's a little too even, too calculated to be normal.] ...tell me. So that might know best how to pay him back.
no subject
[ Ah, geez. Where does he even begin. ]
He meant it when he said he was going to take samples. He burned parts of my skin...and cut some parts, too, that regenerated quickly due to a tube he had in my arm that accelerated regeneration. Many of these bruises were from his subordinates trying to subdue me. There were a lot of shocks involved...and cutting me in various places for blood samples.
[ It's a lot. It's a lot to do to someone in one day. Moreau...got pretty excited. ]
no subject
[He breathes out heavily through his nose, hand shaking with rage.]
Don't worry, Noé. Whatever he visited upon you, I'll deliver back to him tenfold. That's my promise to you.
no subject
Let me get a hit in, too.
[ Yep. They're going to kill Moreau together. ]
no subject
Of course, ma moitié. I'll let you get the first blow in, then you can hold him while I deliver my justice.
[Honestly, by the time they get done with the man, he'll be wishing he died in the original attack on his lab.]
no subject
But he leans in to kiss Vanitas. It's a little abrupt, but he pulls away and touches their foreheads together. ]
I'm glad we're both alive...and thank you for comforting me as I slept.
no subject
The kiss takes Vanitas by surprise, but he accepts it gladly, and pets Noé's hair as their foreheads touch.]
You're welcome. I am, too. It means we get to be here, together.
no subject
Together... I'm starting to really like that word.
no subject
As am I. It's... nice, to not always be alone, I'm finding.
[Frightening, yes, but very nice indeed.]
no subject
[ He really likes that expression on his partner's face. It's so peaceful, content, and it makes Noé's heart flutter a little in his chest. Ah, he's so glad he can make Vanitas feel so content. ]
I'm never setting you free, remember? And I'm sticking to that.
no subject
[Forcing his way against Noé, he cuddles up to his front, trying to be mindful of his injuries while being close all the while. A bit like an affectionate cat demanding attention.]
I remember. I remember I hated you for cursing me with that. Now it feels like a blessing...
no subject
Hated me? [ Ah. ] I'm glad you see it differently now. I never want you to be alone again.
[ And he won't have to be, as long as Noé's here. ]
no subject
For being unable to kill you. For worming your way into my heart. [Trying to clarify, he continues.] It's a frightening thing, to open one's heart after it's been broken, you know...
[Because that was the real crux of the matter.]
no subject
[ Noé isn't the sort to close himself off after tragedy strikes, but he knows full well that Vanitas is. He puts a hand over Vanitas' head and pets it lightly, signifying to the doctor that he understands and doesn't hold it against him. ]
Do you feel any differently about opening up to me, now?
no subject
[The petting makes him blink, surprised, before he smirks a little and settles in to enjoy the affection. He truly is grateful for Noé's patience and kindness.]
I do. I think... I'm alright with it now. Or am gradually getting there.
no subject
[ He'd be awfully sad if he and Vanitas went back to hating one another!! He's a lot more content with their current relationship and wouldn't trade it for the world. ]
Good. I'm always here for you. [ But he understands, now, that this will take time. ] And I'll make good on my word to not leave you behind anymore, too.
no subject
[It's so much less tiring, less stressful. It's... freeing, really. Enough so that he takes Noé's hand, holding it lightly in his own.]
For that, I'm grateful. [For Noé's companionship and compassion.] Please don't... I would hate to lose you....
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)