[Considering he's not really mad or even annoyed, Vanitas sure puts on a show of being huffy, puffing and grumping and basically being a child about the whole damn ordeal. Like Noé's somehow ruined his reputation with that little stunt. (Which he willingly engaged in.) Though he can't maintain his fake ire in the face of that kiss and being hugged. A smile worms its way onto his face, and he chuckles quietly.]
Yes, indeed. Mine and mine alone.
[And that's one reason Moreau needs to die. For laying his hands on his precious lover. But that's for another day. First, Noé needs to rest and recover. Only then will he worry about revenge and cleaning up the mess at the new lab.]
[ He reiterates it to drive the point home. He loves Vanitas so much that he can't seem to keep his hands off of him now, even as he starts to finish the rest of his sandwich. The arm around the doctor stays put while his free hand shovels the sandwich down. ]
Mm...when I fall asleep, Vani...you'll still be here, right? [ His tone becomes a little more somber. ] In case I can't sleep very well...
[At that, Vanitas returns the sentiment by getting an arm around Noé as well, leaning against him slightly for both comfort and warmth. Though the question gives him pause, earning a worried frown.]
Of course. Like I would leave you after everything. [Setting down his tea, he reaches up to comb through Noé's hair.] I'll even remain awake if you'd like me to. That way you won't have to deal with anything on your own.
[ He doesn't want Vanitas to force himself to stay awake again, like that time they both got deeply wounded in battle. He knows that Vanitas likes to go on the roof some nights, but tonight, he just wants his companion beside him. ]
I...I sleep a lot better when you're next to me. That's all I need.
[Nodding, he agrees reluctantly. He knows what being experimented on can do to the mind, even if it was for a short time only. Knows the nightmares that can arise from a single day with Moreau...]
Then I'll be here for you. I promise. I won't go anywhere tonight.
[ He feels better that way, knowing that Vanitas won't have to force himself to stay awake while Noé sleeps. The funny thing is, though, as soon as that's out of the way, Noé's head drops onto Vanitas' shoulder and he's out like a light. Sleeping. He's so exhausted that he doesn't even crawl into bed beforehand. ]
[The sudden exhaustion overtaking Noé comes as a bit of a surprise, but not much of one. He can understand why he must be so very tired. Thus once his partner dozes off, he remains perfectly still, allowing Noé to simply rest against him. All he does is pull a blanket over their shoulders, granting them some extra warmth.]
[ Noé sleeps on Vanitas just like that for a while, resting soundly as he drifts off. That's where the bad things begin, though.
His mind is quiet for a while until the sounds of drilling come into play. He dreams of one being placed right over his eye, tauntingly, and then above his hands, feet, as if the person behind it doesn't know where to start. He feels frozen, stuck in place and unable to do a thing, even as he feels something awful begin to dig into his arm, severing it from his body.
This is not what happened in the lab, of course, but man did he come close to it. It's why he starts clinging to Vanitas in his sleep, as if the man is a beacon that will keep more nightmares from coming in. ]
[Even as Vanitas himself starts to drift off from tiredness too, he feels Noé latch onto him, recognizing the clinging for what it probably is: a nightmare. He doesn't know what horrors are plaguing his lover, of course, but he gets both arms tight around Noé in order to rub comforting circles on his back, remaining silent for now in the hopes that his presence will sooth the dreams and make the nightmares go away. If not though, he's here, ready to provide greater comfort once his companion awakens.]
[ The comforting circles on his back do a lot to slow the nightmares down and make his dreams feel fuzzier, but it doesn't stop one that he fears the most. Something awful, something sickening – the sight of his lover before him, mangled and almost unrecognizable as the result of experimentation, all while he's getting parts of himself burned off of him as samples. That part is unfortunately true and exactly what had caused those burn marks around his body.
He ends up trembling in his sleep and tears start forming at the corners of his life. ]
...Leave...him alone...
[ He mumbles under his breath. In his mind, he's begging for Moreau to leave his partner alone. ]
[It hurts to hear Noé struggling through what he himself had to endure, knowing full well the extent of the mental anguish it can cause, and understanding that it might be even worse for Noé given his attachment to him. It was the same with Mikhail. How he couldn't stand to hear the younger boy being tormented and possibly killed for the sake of Moreau's filthy experiments.
So when he hears Noé's murmurs about what must be him, he gently hugs the vampire tighter, whispering softly to try and get his attention without fully disturbing his sleep just yet. Hoping to influence his dreams in a positive manner. Even if all he can do is let Noé know that he's here. He's safe.]
[ He's still fast asleep, even as Vanitas consoles him. It does reach him, because at some point his shoulders relax and the tears that had started to pour from his eyes finally cease. It's unclear what he's dreaming about now, and he likely won't even remember everything after dreaming about that lab, but he at least seems to have settled down.
He's sleeping soundly again, the heavy sleeper he is. Not once, though, does he let go of Vanitas, and it's a few hours until he finally rouses from his slumber. ]
[It's a relief to Vanitas that his efforts aren't in vain, making him smile faintly as Noé settles back down into a more peaceful rest. Seeing those tears hurts, but he knows from experience that sometimes it's necessary, even in one's sleep. It helps to process everything.
By the time Noé stirs for real, Vanitas' shoulders have gone stiff from sitting up like that, but he doesn't mind. Doesn't care so long as Noé is managing to get rest. He pets at the vampire's hair, smiling softly.]
[ Something about hearing Vanitas' voice triggers something in him, something that gets him to move forward and pull his lover into a tight embrace. The confirmation that his lover is alive and well gets him to tear up again. He's so glad it was all just a dream, in the end. ]
I...I did.
[ He's not quite voicing what he experienced, but he's grateful that Vanitas stayed put all the same. Don't mind his shoulders hitching as he cries again. ]
[Between that ridiculously strong hug and the tears, he doesn't believe Noé's words for a moment, knowing full well just how rough he had it during his sleep. So he sighs, holding him in return. His hand pats at the vampire's back, stroking him first before switching to small circles.]
It's alright if you didn't. I don't expect you to. Not after that...
[He just wishes he knew what all Moreau did to him so he'd know how to help. But asking that so soon might backfire if he's not careful. So he avoids the question. Seeing Noé cry, makes his blood boil and triggers his protective instincts, forcing him to hold his lover close.]
[ He hugs Vanitas close and hears the malice in his voice. He can't and doesn't want to refute it, either. He understands Vanitas' anger and even shares it. But right now, Moreau is the last person he wants to think about, so he ends up nuzzling his lover's neck instead. Not wanting to bite or anything, just wanting to be close. ]
I don't know how you survived any of that... It was...brutal.
[Realizing his mistake, Vanitas sighs and pets at Noé's hair, trying to soothe him in the only way he knows how. His arms tighten protectively around his lover, trying to shield him from all the horrid memories and physical sensations he must have endured. Having been there, he knows how the phantom pains can last. It's not a pleasant experience, naturally.]
...truthfully, I don't know either. Perhaps it was simple spite and the desire for revenge that kept me living. Maybe it was a curse. I'm not sure. All I know is I'm starting to regret it. [He pauses, breathing through his nose a moment.] If it weren't for me, then you never--
[He grits his teeth, hugging Noé tight against himself as curse after curse falls from his lips.]
[ Noé shakes his head and hugs Vanitas tighter in response. ]
No, no! Don't regret it, please don't say that. [ He clings to Vanitas' shirt, because he never wants Vanitas to regret being alive, let alone because of his mistakes. ] Vanitas...my life is so much better having known you. I didn't have many friends before I met you. All I had was Domi...
[ Which he has no issues with, but Vanitas opened him up to so many things, both good and bad. And yet – ]
You want us to face everything together, right? That includes things like this, too. Please don't blame yourself.
[That hug helps soothe Vanitas' anger, although he still trembles with rage.]
Noé... I'm sorry. [He breathes out the apology, closing his eyes to try and focus on calming down so that he won't continue berating himself and hating his own existence. Although what the apology is for is up for debate. Possibly multiple things.] I'm sure you would've made more eventually... Without me...
[He can't help the regret, knowing Moreau only targeted Noé because of him. Because he knew they were connected. Suddenly, he grasps Noé's hand in his own, thumb playing over the other's ring.]
You're right, of course... Even still, it's difficult to not consider this my fault.
I don't care for hypotheticals. [ He pulls back so he can look at Vanitas head-on. A hand comes up to gently cup the doctor's cheek. ] It wouldn't change the fact that meeting you has made my life so much better.
[ He squeezes Vanitas' hand, trying to help the other relax and soothe some of his pain. ]
So...please believe me when I say I don't blame you for anything. It was my foolishness that got me into this mess, not yours.
No, I suppose not. They do no good, anyway. [He lets out an unsteady breath at the contact, leaning into it for warmth and comfort.] And you mine. Even if I seem ungrateful most of the time.
[Because he knows how he comes off usually. Cold and condescending. Feeling Noé trying to reassure him, he shakes his head.]
Why are you comforting me? You're the one who went through hell. How selfish of me. If anything, I should be reassuring you...
Just because I went through hell doesn't mean I can't worry about you, too.
[ He brushes his thumb over Vanitas' cheek repeatedly, hoping to help him relax a little more. He's not a fan of the self-deprecating spirals that Vanitas gets into, but that makes him all the more motivated to want to help his lover through them. ]
And like I've said...I'd like for us to face this together. That includes being here for you when you need it, too.
[It's such a simple gesture yet one that does indeed help calm him, leaving him breathing somewhat more steadily as he nestles up again Noé. Now if only he could stop hating himself for a while...]
...very well. I, too, wish for us to work together to overcome it. But I'm fine, honestly. It's you I'm worried about... What he did to you... I know it's painful. That it's frightening.
[ Said with sincerity, because he'd rather not get into that argument with Vanitas right now. They can worry about each other, and he'll call it even there. ]
...And it is. I thought I was going to lose my arm again, to put it bluntly. [ And more. Probably more. But Moreau wouldn't have killed him because of all of the potential for more research that Noé could have provided him. ] I'll spare you the details if you wish...but if you want to hear them, I can tell you.
[For his part, he holds Noé tighter, expressing his agreement that way. This is no time for petty bickering or arguments between them.]
That would not have surprised me. He can find uses for all manner of body parts. Frankly it's a wonder he only took skin and blood samples from me. [Although it clearly enrages him despite Vanitas' calm voice. It's a little too even, too calculated to be normal.] ...tell me. So that might know best how to pay him back.
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Yes, indeed. Mine and mine alone.
[And that's one reason Moreau needs to die. For laying his hands on his precious lover. But that's for another day. First, Noé needs to rest and recover. Only then will he worry about revenge and cleaning up the mess at the new lab.]
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[ He reiterates it to drive the point home. He loves Vanitas so much that he can't seem to keep his hands off of him now, even as he starts to finish the rest of his sandwich. The arm around the doctor stays put while his free hand shovels the sandwich down. ]
Mm...when I fall asleep, Vani...you'll still be here, right? [ His tone becomes a little more somber. ] In case I can't sleep very well...
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Of course. Like I would leave you after everything. [Setting down his tea, he reaches up to comb through Noé's hair.] I'll even remain awake if you'd like me to. That way you won't have to deal with anything on your own.
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[ He doesn't want Vanitas to force himself to stay awake again, like that time they both got deeply wounded in battle. He knows that Vanitas likes to go on the roof some nights, but tonight, he just wants his companion beside him. ]
I...I sleep a lot better when you're next to me. That's all I need.
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[Nodding, he agrees reluctantly. He knows what being experimented on can do to the mind, even if it was for a short time only. Knows the nightmares that can arise from a single day with Moreau...]
Then I'll be here for you. I promise. I won't go anywhere tonight.
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[ He feels better that way, knowing that Vanitas won't have to force himself to stay awake while Noé sleeps. The funny thing is, though, as soon as that's out of the way, Noé's head drops onto Vanitas' shoulder and he's out like a light. Sleeping. He's so exhausted that he doesn't even crawl into bed beforehand. ]
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[The sudden exhaustion overtaking Noé comes as a bit of a surprise, but not much of one. He can understand why he must be so very tired. Thus once his partner dozes off, he remains perfectly still, allowing Noé to simply rest against him. All he does is pull a blanket over their shoulders, granting them some extra warmth.]
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His mind is quiet for a while until the sounds of drilling come into play. He dreams of one being placed right over his eye, tauntingly, and then above his hands, feet, as if the person behind it doesn't know where to start. He feels frozen, stuck in place and unable to do a thing, even as he feels something awful begin to dig into his arm, severing it from his body.
This is not what happened in the lab, of course, but man did he come close to it. It's why he starts clinging to Vanitas in his sleep, as if the man is a beacon that will keep more nightmares from coming in. ]
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He ends up trembling in his sleep and tears start forming at the corners of his life. ]
...Leave...him alone...
[ He mumbles under his breath. In his mind, he's begging for Moreau to leave his partner alone. ]
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So when he hears Noé's murmurs about what must be him, he gently hugs the vampire tighter, whispering softly to try and get his attention without fully disturbing his sleep just yet. Hoping to influence his dreams in a positive manner. Even if all he can do is let Noé know that he's here. He's safe.]
It's okay, Noé. I'm fine. I'm right here... Shhh... You're alright. We're safe...
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He's sleeping soundly again, the heavy sleeper he is. Not once, though, does he let go of Vanitas, and it's a few hours until he finally rouses from his slumber. ]
...Vani...
[ He's still here, right? ]
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By the time Noé stirs for real, Vanitas' shoulders have gone stiff from sitting up like that, but he doesn't mind. Doesn't care so long as Noé is managing to get rest. He pets at the vampire's hair, smiling softly.]
Hey, sleepyhead. Did you rest well?
[Still right where he was.]
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I...I did.
[ He's not quite voicing what he experienced, but he's grateful that Vanitas stayed put all the same. Don't mind his shoulders hitching as he cries again. ]
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It's alright if you didn't. I don't expect you to. Not after that...
[He just wishes he knew what all Moreau did to him so he'd know how to help. But asking that so soon might backfire if he's not careful. So he avoids the question. Seeing Noé cry, makes his blood boil and triggers his protective instincts, forcing him to hold his lover close.]
...I'll kill that man the next time I see him.
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I don't know how you survived any of that... It was...brutal.
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...truthfully, I don't know either. Perhaps it was simple spite and the desire for revenge that kept me living. Maybe it was a curse. I'm not sure. All I know is I'm starting to regret it. [He pauses, breathing through his nose a moment.] If it weren't for me, then you never--
[He grits his teeth, hugging Noé tight against himself as curse after curse falls from his lips.]
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[ Noé shakes his head and hugs Vanitas tighter in response. ]
No, no! Don't regret it, please don't say that. [ He clings to Vanitas' shirt, because he never wants Vanitas to regret being alive, let alone because of his mistakes. ] Vanitas...my life is so much better having known you. I didn't have many friends before I met you. All I had was Domi...
[ Which he has no issues with, but Vanitas opened him up to so many things, both good and bad. And yet – ]
You want us to face everything together, right? That includes things like this, too. Please don't blame yourself.
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Noé... I'm sorry. [He breathes out the apology, closing his eyes to try and focus on calming down so that he won't continue berating himself and hating his own existence. Although what the apology is for is up for debate. Possibly multiple things.] I'm sure you would've made more eventually... Without me...
[He can't help the regret, knowing Moreau only targeted Noé because of him. Because he knew they were connected. Suddenly, he grasps Noé's hand in his own, thumb playing over the other's ring.]
You're right, of course... Even still, it's difficult to not consider this my fault.
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[ He squeezes Vanitas' hand, trying to help the other relax and soothe some of his pain. ]
So...please believe me when I say I don't blame you for anything. It was my foolishness that got me into this mess, not yours.
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[Because he knows how he comes off usually. Cold and condescending. Feeling Noé trying to reassure him, he shakes his head.]
Why are you comforting me? You're the one who went through hell. How selfish of me. If anything, I should be reassuring you...
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[ He brushes his thumb over Vanitas' cheek repeatedly, hoping to help him relax a little more. He's not a fan of the self-deprecating spirals that Vanitas gets into, but that makes him all the more motivated to want to help his lover through them. ]
And like I've said...I'd like for us to face this together. That includes being here for you when you need it, too.
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[It's such a simple gesture yet one that does indeed help calm him, leaving him breathing somewhat more steadily as he nestles up again Noé. Now if only he could stop hating himself for a while...]
...very well. I, too, wish for us to work together to overcome it. But I'm fine, honestly. It's you I'm worried about... What he did to you... I know it's painful. That it's frightening.
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[ Said with sincerity, because he'd rather not get into that argument with Vanitas right now. They can worry about each other, and he'll call it even there. ]
...And it is. I thought I was going to lose my arm again, to put it bluntly. [ And more. Probably more. But Moreau wouldn't have killed him because of all of the potential for more research that Noé could have provided him. ] I'll spare you the details if you wish...but if you want to hear them, I can tell you.
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That would not have surprised me. He can find uses for all manner of body parts. Frankly it's a wonder he only took skin and blood samples from me. [Although it clearly enrages him despite Vanitas' calm voice. It's a little too even, too calculated to be normal.] ...tell me. So that might know best how to pay him back.
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