[He at least stops squirming while Vincent supports him and then places him upon the ground, where he stretches, still bristling.]
Not with someone like you who seems intent of turning down every olive branch.
[Though admittedly, he's hardly in the best shape right now, being cold, hungry, and tired. It's a minor miracle he manages to change back into his human self, staggering a little as he does so.]
I'm trying to be honest here, not sugarcoat things or tell you what you want to hear, despite what you seem to think.
[ For as much as he doesn’t seem to care, Vincent watches the younger man intently and he transforms. When he staggers, the blond’s arm is there to catch him. ]
Hm. You can it an olive branch, but all I hear is self pity and selfishness. You’ve given me positively no reason to be receptive.
[ Once Vanitas is on his feet, he gestures ahead, before slipping his hands back into his pockets and moving forward, himself. ]
[The gesture, both welcome and not - if only because he hates showing any form of weakness - is accepted with a noise of thanks. A wordless sound as he regains his footing, unable or unwilling to meet Vincent's eyes.]
Well, excuse me if I'm rather terrible at this whole relationship thing. There's a reason I spent the past however many years avoiding them.
[In spite of himself he can't help sounding put out and a touch hurt as they set out towards the city.]
...you may be right, though. [He'll admit that much, at least.]
[ ‘Relationship’, a word which earns Vincent’s attention, even if it’s a sweeping glance. Hearing Vanitas admit to that much might be a start. ]
That would make two of us.
[ To the latter, he merely hums, wings folding up tighter against himself. It’s only now that he realizes how he and Vanitas started off on exceptionally good footing, and even during their brief (though intense) disputes, had never truly experienced his more disagreeable nature. Interesting. ]
[Perhaps unfortunately, it's a look that Vanitas misses, being so out of it, so he gets no hints there. He'll just have to muddle on through it on his own efforts.]
I would've thought that would make you more understanding.
[It's said quietly, almost sadly as he keeps his gaze on the ground before him while they walk. They did start off on rather good terms, especially for one whose normal mood is sullen and petulant. What Vincent is getting to see now is Vanitas' more natural side.]
...was there anything you wished to say to me? Any hopes for us, however slight?
[ Brows tick upward, lashes falling against his cheeks with a quiet huff through the nostrils. He remains silent, until the other man speaks up for the second time. After a moment of consideration, teeth scraping over his lip, Vincent erupts into a short burst of laughter. ]
It is for the very reason that we are so similar that I have no pity for you. Despite how damaged and rotten I am, I’ve somehow been able to offer you so much accommodation and love. After all you’d done, I gave you every opportunity to stay. [ Walking on, he merely shakes his head with a smile. ] No, I’m not going to continue carrying us.
[It's almost amazing how much that laugh cuts him to the quick, leaving him hurt and aching inside. Fitting, he supposes, given what all he's done and the pain he's caused, but it's still painful to experience. It's so new and everything remains raw despite it having been weeks already.
For a time Vanitas is silent, mulling over those words before sighing quietly.]
When put like that, I can hardly blame you for being so doggedly determined to hold everything against me. I suppose there truly is no recourse for us, then... [His eyes flick up to avoid a low hanging branch, but in so doing, he misses his footing, stumbling and falling to his knees with a laugh of his own.] ...you may as well simply leave me here, then.
[Hands grasping at his pants, he hunches his shoulders at Vincent's words, raising his head enough to fix him with a glare. He surely didn't expect any offer of help, yet to see him merely stand there smiling at him is infuriating.]
You try not being able to eat, drink, or move much for three days and see how well you handle it.
[Gritting his teeth, his words come out venomous and bitter.]
I said to leave me be. If you've no interest in reconciling, then why did you even come out here? To spite me? Do you want your earring back?
[ Unimpressed by the display, he’ll just look the other up and down. ]
That should be obvious, because unlike you, I meant what I said; I still love you. I don’t want you to suffer and wither alone. Why do you think I still wear this thing, mm?
[Having no retort to that, he hunches up his shoulders and drops his gaze to the ground, hands tightening into fists.]
Who can tell with you? You're impenetrable sometimes. You say you love me and care, yet you shun my every attempt to reach out and make amends. I can't tell what it is you want from me. [Quieter, almost to himself:] I want to do better...
Every attempt to reach out, hm… Let me remind you that this is the first time we’ve spoken since well before I died, and I sought you out. You mentioned an apology, which I never quite received, and immediately lost steam after a taste of honesty. Told me you just threw me away because you could. Ah, and then, you asked me to put forth the effort to begin rekindling what we had.
[ A slow blink. ]
So, tell me, where was the effort? This only shows me how little I mean to you.
[Brutal honesty, yet nothing Vincent says is technically wrong; that's what stings most, apart from the fact that Vanitas is trying, despite how it may seem. Poorly, perhaps, but in his own way he's making the effort. It's clearly just not enough.
Sagging in place, he sighs, his rage draining from him.]
Every attempt today, anyways. And I'm sorry. For treating you and our relationship like it meant little to me. Because that's not the case. I truly do - did - value it. And you. I didn't realize I was asking so much of you in my attempt to make things better.
[Laughing quietly, he shakes his head.]
I won't try to convince you. The fact that I'm so terrible at this is just proof that you can do better. You deserve better. Someone who will treat you with more understanding than I can.
[Self-sabotage, it's what he's best at. Even without realizing it, it seems to be about the only thing he truly excels at anymore. It's like he's deliberately trying to push others away.
Whether he hears that scoff is up for debate, but he does smile wryly, eyes still fixed downward.]
You're just going to turn me down, aren't you? What then is the point? Wouldn't it be better to save both ourselves the trouble?
[At first it looks like he's going to reach for Vincent's hand. ...only instead he swats it away.]
I'll take the fourth option: remaining right here on my own until I feel so inclined as to return to the city. Having a spectral soul means an inevitable death, yes? I may as well wait it out here. Perhaps this ache will go away with my demise.
[ Just like that, his hand is smacked away. Vincent’s wings jolt, hand slowly curling.
With a long sigh, he shifts to walk away… just a few paces, so he can turn and sit in front of the other man. Settling his wrists atop his knees, he does not look happy about this option. ]
[Yeah, this time he knows he's being selfish. But he's feeling pitiable.
However he's not expecting Vincent to be so damned stubborn as to park it across from him. That gets him frowning, though the reason why becomes apparent in short order.]
Don't be daft-- you've already died, haven't you? There's no reason for you to sit out here and be miserable just because I decided to.
Indeed, it is. [ Mismatched eyes fixed on Vanitas’ gaze, he idly rubs his fingertips. It’s clear that his temper has flared under the circumstances, despite how languid his demeanor otherwise is. ] There is reason, and that would be your selfishness. I’ve already told you, I will not leave you to die alone.
Tch... [And honestly that puts Vanitas on edge. He's seen what Vincent can be like when truly angry; he'd like to not be on the receiving end of his scissors again.
Grasping his pants again, he growls under his breath, eyeing the other man.] Now who's being selfish?
[With teeth grit, he huffs irritably.] Maybe I'm doing this for your sake, hmm? Clearly being enamored with me isn't making you happy, so why not take the opportunity to be rid of me?
[ Being called selfish for not leaving the other man to die in the woods… Closing his eyes, Vincent’s shoulders fall with a silent sigh, lips tightening in a smirk. Utterly preposterous. ]
That’s an answer I’ve already given, so you tell me.
[It's a good kind of selfish, though. The kind the Vanitas wishes he could embody. The kind he knows he doesn't deserve, hence his ire. It's frustrating, to be up against something he's trying and failing to be. Like looking at a work of art and struggling to reproduce it himself.]
Because you love me? [It's said softly as he gazes across at Vincent, hands clutched tight in the fabric of his pants.]
[ That is simply a line of thought which Vincent wouldn’t be able to follow. It seems to him that his partner isn’t trying at all, nor does he actually wish to die out here in the first place. Everything just points back to the man wanting to have the answers (which he doesn’t want to hear) handed to him without effort.
Thankfully, he manages to have listened to at least one thing he’s been told.
Easing just slightly, he nods. ]
That’s right. Have I ever been unclear about that, even now? [ Raising a finger in pause, he’ll continue. ] With that in mind, why don’t we start from the beginning, mm?
[Vincent isn't entirely wrong in that regard; Vanitas likes being the one who has the answers, who manipulates them and information to get what he wants out of people. Being denied this here in a new world, facing off against someone just as stubborn and possibly cleverer than he is... it's frustrating.
There's only one truth he can rely on when it comes to Vincent, it seems: that he cares deeply for him. Now if only he could do the same...]
No, you haven't. [He follows that finger with curiosity, brows raising at the offer.] ...very well. If you're willing to.
[ While Vincent wouldn’t consider himself more clever, perhaps calculating would be the word. More experience might have something to do with it, as well… What he does know is that, for all the madness Vanitas puts him through, the love he holds for the younger man seemingly can’t be swayed. Perhaps he’ll never see it reciprocated, but it won’t be for a lack of devotion on his part.
When the other finally relents, Vincent nods, gesturing to his partner to offer him the opportunity. ]
I am. Now, do you wish to have this conversation here, or on the way home?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
You wanted the chance to speak. I wouldn’t say that I’m an entirely unreasonable man, but negotiations apparently aren’t your strong suit.
[ This is more or less how he saw this conversation going. Ah well. He pauses to kneel, setting the other down. ]
no subject
Not with someone like you who seems intent of turning down every olive branch.
[Though admittedly, he's hardly in the best shape right now, being cold, hungry, and tired. It's a minor miracle he manages to change back into his human self, staggering a little as he does so.]
I'm trying to be honest here, not sugarcoat things or tell you what you want to hear, despite what you seem to think.
no subject
Hm. You can it an olive branch, but all I hear is self pity and selfishness. You’ve given me positively no reason to be receptive.
[ Once Vanitas is on his feet, he gestures ahead, before slipping his hands back into his pockets and moving forward, himself. ]
You’re simply used to me coddling you.
no subject
Well, excuse me if I'm rather terrible at this whole relationship thing. There's a reason I spent the past however many years avoiding them.
[In spite of himself he can't help sounding put out and a touch hurt as they set out towards the city.]
...you may be right, though. [He'll admit that much, at least.]
no subject
That would make two of us.
[ To the latter, he merely hums, wings folding up tighter against himself. It’s only now that he realizes how he and Vanitas started off on exceptionally good footing, and even during their brief (though intense) disputes, had never truly experienced his more disagreeable nature. Interesting. ]
no subject
I would've thought that would make you more understanding.
[It's said quietly, almost sadly as he keeps his gaze on the ground before him while they walk. They did start off on rather good terms, especially for one whose normal mood is sullen and petulant. What Vincent is getting to see now is Vanitas' more natural side.]
...was there anything you wished to say to me? Any hopes for us, however slight?
no subject
It is for the very reason that we are so similar that I have no pity for you. Despite how damaged and rotten I am, I’ve somehow been able to offer you so much accommodation and love. After all you’d done, I gave you every opportunity to stay. [ Walking on, he merely shakes his head with a smile. ] No, I’m not going to continue carrying us.
no subject
For a time Vanitas is silent, mulling over those words before sighing quietly.]
When put like that, I can hardly blame you for being so doggedly determined to hold everything against me. I suppose there truly is no recourse for us, then... [His eyes flick up to avoid a low hanging branch, but in so doing, he misses his footing, stumbling and falling to his knees with a laugh of his own.] ...you may as well simply leave me here, then.
no subject
Quietly, he approaches to stand next to Vanitas. Head tilted and hands firmly in his pockets, he ticks his tongue. ]
My, so dramatic. [ His thin smile widens. ] Come on, get up.
no subject
You try not being able to eat, drink, or move much for three days and see how well you handle it.
[Gritting his teeth, his words come out venomous and bitter.]
I said to leave me be. If you've no interest in reconciling, then why did you even come out here? To spite me? Do you want your earring back?
no subject
Try it for four months.
[ Unimpressed by the display, he’ll just look the other up and down. ]
That should be obvious, because unlike you, I meant what I said; I still love you. I don’t want you to suffer and wither alone. Why do you think I still wear this thing, mm?
no subject
[Having no retort to that, he hunches up his shoulders and drops his gaze to the ground, hands tightening into fists.]
Who can tell with you? You're impenetrable sometimes. You say you love me and care, yet you shun my every attempt to reach out and make amends. I can't tell what it is you want from me. [Quieter, almost to himself:] I want to do better...
no subject
Every attempt to reach out, hm… Let me remind you that this is the first time we’ve spoken since well before I died, and I sought you out. You mentioned an apology, which I never quite received, and immediately lost steam after a taste of honesty. Told me you just threw me away because you could. Ah, and then, you asked me to put forth the effort to begin rekindling what we had.
[ A slow blink. ]
So, tell me, where was the effort? This only shows me how little I mean to you.
no subject
Sagging in place, he sighs, his rage draining from him.]
Every attempt today, anyways. And I'm sorry. For treating you and our relationship like it meant little to me. Because that's not the case. I truly do - did - value it. And you. I didn't realize I was asking so much of you in my attempt to make things better.
[Laughing quietly, he shakes his head.]
I won't try to convince you. The fact that I'm so terrible at this is just proof that you can do better. You deserve better. Someone who will treat you with more understanding than I can.
no subject
Until Vanitas ruins it immediately. Eyes sharpening, his lips barely part in a quiet, almost unnoticeable scoff. ]
You won’t even try, mm? Shame. I suppose that’s it, then.
[ Finally, the blond offers his hand. ]
You can either get up, I can carry you, or we stay here until you can manage one of the aforementioned options.
no subject
Whether he hears that scoff is up for debate, but he does smile wryly, eyes still fixed downward.]
You're just going to turn me down, aren't you? What then is the point? Wouldn't it be better to save both ourselves the trouble?
[At first it looks like he's going to reach for Vincent's hand. ...only instead he swats it away.]
I'll take the fourth option: remaining right here on my own until I feel so inclined as to return to the city. Having a spectral soul means an inevitable death, yes? I may as well wait it out here. Perhaps this ache will go away with my demise.
no subject
[ Just like that, his hand is smacked away. Vincent’s wings jolt, hand slowly curling.
With a long sigh, he shifts to walk away… just a few paces, so he can turn and sit in front of the other man. Settling his wrists atop his knees, he does not look happy about this option. ]
no subject
[Yeah, this time he knows he's being selfish. But he's feeling pitiable.
However he's not expecting Vincent to be so damned stubborn as to park it across from him. That gets him frowning, though the reason why becomes apparent in short order.]
Don't be daft-- you've already died, haven't you? There's no reason for you to sit out here and be miserable just because I decided to.
no subject
no subject
Grasping his pants again, he growls under his breath, eyeing the other man.] Now who's being selfish?
[With teeth grit, he huffs irritably.] Maybe I'm doing this for your sake, hmm? Clearly being enamored with me isn't making you happy, so why not take the opportunity to be rid of me?
no subject
That’s an answer I’ve already given, so you tell me.
no subject
Because you love me? [It's said softly as he gazes across at Vincent, hands clutched tight in the fabric of his pants.]
no subject
Thankfully, he manages to have listened to at least one thing he’s been told.
Easing just slightly, he nods. ]
That’s right. Have I ever been unclear about that, even now? [ Raising a finger in pause, he’ll continue. ] With that in mind, why don’t we start from the beginning, mm?
no subject
There's only one truth he can rely on when it comes to Vincent, it seems: that he cares deeply for him. Now if only he could do the same...]
No, you haven't. [He follows that finger with curiosity, brows raising at the offer.] ...very well. If you're willing to.
no subject
When the other finally relents, Vincent nods, gesturing to his partner to offer him the opportunity. ]
I am. Now, do you wish to have this conversation here, or on the way home?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)